


The Umbrella Academy oneshots

by linebos28



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Adorable, Banter, Comfort, Funny, Other, Panic, Sick Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-29 17:06:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18298535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linebos28/pseuds/linebos28
Summary: A bunch of Umbrella Academy oneshots. The first one involves a sick Five, and Klaus taking care of him. The second is them being idiots and not knowing how to handle something simple like normal people.





	The Umbrella Academy oneshots

**Author's Note:**

> Used a couple prompts from pinterest.

On the counter there was a large mess of objects. There lay blankets, large hoodies, empty coffee cups, a pink feather boa, among many other things. The most tell tale signs of the situation at hand were the thermometer, the honey, and the medicine that had been brought out. 

There were loud coughs from further on in the room. Not long after swearing, and a loud muttering in return. Then a sneeze. The pattern of swearing, and loud muttering seemed to be an ongoing loop.

Vanya crept closer. Peaking around the corner, she spotted a small dark haired figure captured in blankets. Another figure was next to the dark haired one, except this one stood with one hand on his hip, and another one dramatically flinging around explaining something. For a moment, Vanya stood, and watched. These two brothers were rarely together, and when they were, it was a sight to behold. The dramatic arguments that ensued were some of the most humorous memories Vanya held of the first timeline. 

Now in the second timeline, they had Allison rumour their father into some freedom. All of them were technically adults now. Even if they didn’t look it. Many things had changed already. They were all included, and they all had a therapist now. Allison also had to rumour her into believing their stories of course, but it had worked out. Ben was back as well. Luther’s ego was hurt, and he didn’t know what to think of their father anymore. Five, and Klaus were getting over their old addictions. Not to mention the difference their changed goals made. They all had a combined goal now. To become better people. Together.

After a loud cough Klaus hauled Five, who was stuck in blankets, onto his lap. Five threw an insult at Klaus, before he had a chance to deflect, the phone rang. There was a loud beep, and Klaus muttered a hello. Five began to grumble quietly, but subsided to let Klaus talk.

“Luther is this important? Sorry, but I have a clingy, and feverish assassin on my lap. I’ll call you back when I’ve convinced him that a cold doesn’t mean he’s dying.”

“Hey!” Five shouted from within the blanket.

Klaus took the time to hush, and put a finger to the lips of a glaring Five. “Bye Luther! Gotta go!”

“I am in no way clingy! Klaus, I said I feel like I’m dying, I don’t think I’m actually dying. Let me go Klaus.”

“Oh you poor child, it’s okay. You’re not dying. Mama Klaus is here to help you.”

Five dramatically sighed. “Can I at least have some coffee? I’d kill for a cup of coffee right now”

“Murdering is bad. Google says you shouldn’t give coffee to sick people.” Klaus pointed his finger dramatically at Five’s face. Then he picked up a bowl of soup and thrust a spoonful in Five’s mouth.

“You’re lucky I haven’t killed anybody yet today.”

Klaus then squinted at Five. “You say that as if it’s a difficult task.” Five received another spoonful of soup. Ignoring the glares, Klaus continued to spoon feed him

“It has been with you around. You’ll regret not giving me coffee.”

“I regret nothing,” Klaus said with a smile before running his hand through five’s hair. If Five had been able to kill with looks, then Klaus wouldn’t have made it past the age of two, let alone this moment.

Staring straight ahead, Five spoke, “Because you don’t remember what you’re supposed to regret.” 

“It works wonderfully I tell you.”

Five just glared again. 

Deciding she’d heard enough, she left with a smile. Not before overhearing Five mutter, “Hell hath no fury like a sick old man in a child’s body who’s being forced to deal with his annoying siblings.”

Would Klaus make it? She wasn’t sure. He could take full responsibility for his own death though. She might have to take a little for walking away though.

“Let me go!” Five demanded.

Klaus shook his head with a smile. “Then you’ll teleport away. Mama Klaus needs to take care of her baby.”

“We’re the same age!”

“HA! You admit it!”

With another glare, Five spoke, “I hate you.”

“I’m wounded brother. Now what style would you like your hair in?”

Allison found the two on the couch the next day. Five wrapped in a blanket, and Klaus holding onto him. Somewhere during the night, Five had snuggled his face into Klaus’ stomach. She held back her will to coo at how cute they were, and grabbed a photo. This was priceless.

<><><><><><><><>

The table was on fire. It wasn’t his fault this time.

“I have to take credit for this.” 

“You mean blame?” Ben asked Klaus.

His siblings were freaking out. Klaus had also forgot to tell their father that he had accidentally used the fire extinguisher recently, and that it was empty. So now Luther stood with a confused expression while squeezing as the instructions recommended. Diego had thrown knives to attempt to stop the fire, goodness knows why. Now he was freaking out about his knives being damaged. Long ago Allison had raced to find a bucket, but she had yet to return. Unfortunately Klaus had used the only bucket in the house the one night when he’d drank too much. Vanya stood on the other side of the room screeching in terror as Klaus stood staring at the table.

“I didn’t start the fire.” Klaus defended himself. “Wait isn’t that a song lyric?”

Reginald was away on a trip, so he wasn’t keeping them calm as he usually would in his own twisted way. Grace stood to the side with a smile. She had also muttered, “boys will be boys,” at some point, and it had cracked Klaus up. 

Then Pogo entered, and it looked like he turned white. That was not good for a monkey. For a moment Klaus suspected he would have a heart attack, but then he seemed to come to his senses, and run out of the room.

If Five were still here, he could have perhaps jumped, grabbed a fire extinguisher, and come back. Perhaps Ben could have prevented the whole ordeal and mentioned that there weren’t adequate fire prevention procedures in place. With Reginald refusing to have a lot of technology, weirdly enough, a fire extinguisher was one of them. Did he want them to die in their sleep? First smoke would get to them, then they would be too weak to run when they’re being burned alive. Reggie really didn’t care all that much did he? Well that had already been established long ago.

“Klaus! Do something!” Ben called. Only Klaus heard of course.

“Oh, right, right.”

What could he do? The table was on fire, well not the table, but the table cloth. Wait, the tablecloth… Maybe he could pull off that maneuver he had been attempting to learn...

Klaus raced to the table, grabbed an edge of the tablecloth that wasn’t burning, and pulled it down. The dishes, silverware, and the food mostly stayed on the table. Not totally pulled off, but not a fail either. Diego swiftly raced over to grab his knives. Wait, now he was holding a burning tablecloth. What was he supposed to do with it?

“Get it out! Get it out!” Vanya supplied.

Springing into action, he grabbed the edge and ran with it. Carefully, he made sure the cloth hit as little as possible. It seemed like nothing else caught fire, so he continued. Soon he had the tablecloth on the pavement outside their house, and people were staring.

Luther, Vanya, Diego, and Pogo came not long after.

“Master Klaus, you’re on fire!” Pogo exclaimed as soon as he got there.

Internally freaking out, Klaus started running along screaming. With perfect timing, Allison came out and sprayed him with a hose. Crisis averted.

Apparently crisis not averted. Looking up from the video of him freaking out, Klaus realized someone had videotaped him, and his father got a hold of it.

“What do you have to say for yourself Four?”

“Sh*t.”


End file.
